It’s already a few week when my hubby was not at home, he has some training from his job that far from home, so for a while, he will be away from us. Hufts, honestly I don’t like to be apart with my hubby, it’s not about I’m not supporting his job but it’s quite enough for me to be far with him. I missed him so much.
This moment always remembers me about the past when I need to have LDR or Long Distance Relationship. This moment really teaches me a lot about the meaning of the real relationship.
I know mine will not be same if compared with the wife of marine man or army or any profession that need to live apart with our partner. But I just feel that’s enough for me, wish he always near me and little K forever ( kind of my selfishness).
So, talking about LDR at this time not many women or girl who want to have this type of relationships, because they are worried if it will be the sad ending of their relationship. In fact, not many women also could survive in this relationship.
For me, I had the same thought before I experience it or to say yes for Long Distance Relationship. Many that I considered as I heard or see with my own eyes there was a couple had been finished with the sad or bad ending because of LDR.
Actually, what’s the problem about LDR? Why could just a few women survive from it?
From my own experience and research, we always found some problem of LDR that makes you decide “I’m DONE with this!!” And the relationship is over.
PROBLEM OF LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Impatient to wait the certain time just to see your love in close, to be near with your love or just to have touched them. I have this problem during my LDR period, and I could feel you, girls, how it was, that was really annoying to see your love ones just on webcam or photo, couldn’t touch each other, etc. and it the same with the man but the different, man very seldom to express his impatient to the woman, so they still stay cool.
Jealousy, maybe not everyone has this but believe it or not there are some women/men who never done jealousy while they had the usual relationship but once they had LDR, the jealous is coming over them.
And I know also being jealous is normal and there is a phrase said: “if you are not jealous it’s mean you don’t love her/him”. It’s nothing wrong with that phrase, but if you have SUPER jealous I can guarantee 80% you will have the bad end.
No ones like their lovers too much jealous on them, it annoying for them, and make them think if you are too much protective or you don’t trust them. Myself could understand why the jealousy coming on us while we are in LDR, it’s just because we couldn’t see them in every day for real, maybe they talk to us about what they did etc.
But for us, it’s not enough if we didn’t see it with our own, it’s kind of I don’t feel worse.I feel this, and I told my hubby honestly if I jealous when he told me if they hang out with his women colleagues (even he went with all the man colleague also). And I’m not a type of person who easily to be jealous before.it happens to me since I start to have LDR.
This one sometimes happens while we had LDR, some factor that had a role in it. For my case, as I and my hubby comes from 2 differents countries and English is not our native language but it’s the only one language to communicate with each other,
So, sometimes we had miscommunication while we explain something on our conversation and sometimes it will end with a fight.
Time will be more precious when we are in LDR. Because of most of the time, while we are in LDR the time will be limited.Time to talk, time to be together, time to do something etc. So we will feel the lack of time, it’s really annoying and always feel like all in a hurry so we can’t enjoy it.
Everyone hates this, and everyone would like to have unlimited time with their loved one. And because of that, they could decide it ” ok lets it over” easily.
Negative thinking attacks
Alright, now we talk about Negative thinking/mind.i could say that’s really happening on me almost every day since LDR.
When he didn’t reply my email or message like usually, my negative mind/ thinking is ready for attack me. In my mind, I asked “what happen? Why didn’t he reply me? is he sick? or is he with someone else so he forgot to reply me? etc”.
And why like that? For my case, it’s because at that time I almost lost my trust on him, and because of my worries also and my fast reaction about that.
After you read all the problem above, are you have that also?
If yes, want to know how to make your relationship STRONG when in LDR mode? So here some ways to keep my LDR keep strong.
KEY TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER
The most important that you should have is communication. Where ever you or your partner are, both of you need to keep the communication.You can communicate by email, phone call, video call etc. With the communication, you can more understand each other even both of you aren’t the same place. Yeah even sometimes it can be leading to miscommunication but to have the intense communication you can solve any problem together.
I and my hubby while we were in LDR, we really had so intense communication we do the chat almost every day at the same time and did the video call every weekend.
And like I said miscommunication still there but with our intensity, we could understand better. (Thanks to internet and tech for this time😍).
It’s a MUST alert!! on LDR trust is needed and kind of obligations. This one is based on the solid relationship, so if you want to build the strong relationship you should have this. Why is trust important? because without trust there is no real relationship. Trust also can be a tool to stay survive with the problem jealousy and all the negative thinking attacks. And with the trust, you can enjoy your day without any stress/worries and it will reduce the chance to be fight also.
Respect to each other
Besides the trust, what we need on build our LDR is RESPECT. Each couple should have respect to each other,
in an example when he/she decide to do some things even, we do not really agree about that but we could respect him/her to decide what she/he thinks it’s the best.
Self-control here is about how we control ourselves to not easy to get attack by Negative thinking.I know it’s not easy to have LDR as we can’t meet every day or we couldn’t share anything freely as the limited time, etc. As my experience, this one is really challenging for me, honestly, i’m not a person who can easily get self-control (in my past).
Each time I don’t have any message or news from my hubby, my day will be dark and it will be shine again until I could get the news. So, during the time I’m waiting for the news, in my mind always full with any questions standard of jealousy like, “Oh my, he didn’t care to me?”, “he has another girl!!”, “I worry something bad happen to him”, etc.
Or when we meet someone that more reachable than our partner and with that conditions is a fragile condition, That’s the time that we could lose our self-control and will flow into bad situations.
And how I could get off from those questions and get my self-control?? one and the best thing I have to get my self-control is “THINK POSITIVE” why? Because all is centered on your brain, your brain is controlling all.
So keep thinking positive, be calm and keep to memorize the best moment when together and stay awake don’t flow to deep into the bad situation.
Want to sacrifice
When we talk about sacrifice, I’m totally agreed if all kind of relationship needs to be a sacrifice.
But the point of view from my eye glasses, LDR is needed more sacrifice more than the other relationships. Why? Because back again about limited. And To having the LDR is really tiring by physically and mentally. You need to sacrifice your little time for your partner, you need to sacrifice your feeling when Saturday night coming and your partner, not near you.
And if you need him/her when you feel down, she/he couldn’t be there next to you for giving a little cuddle or something to comfort you. If your time and his/her time not in the same zone, one of you need awake in the midnight just for asking “how are you?” or “how was your day?”.
And all are SACRIFICE!!!
If there is no sacrifice, your relationship will not stay longer.
The last but not the least, COURAGE. That’s what we need for continuing our love journey, as many things that you didn’t realize, made you feel down.With courage, without you know it makes you be the strongest person in your relationship. As to decide to have an LDR mode isn’t easy and hard to keep it stay still.
at the end, for having LDR is not really a bad idea also, and honestly, I learn many things from this relationship, such as ;
- My LDR story is my Alarm!! It will remind me while we had a problem in relationship i.e if on marriage life there is always had something like a little/ big fight and moment LDR could remind us how strong we were before and make us think to not let it down easily.
- More respectful and trustful to each other
- Attaching to each other but more independent in an occasion.
- Learn how to be more patient.
- More appreciate when having a moment together.
So, finally. For me LDR is helping me for preparing myself for the future about what will happen later, being more positive in the relationship, and it builds my relationship to be a healthy and strong.
Have you ever or maybe you are in LDR mode? For you who are in LDR mode, I would like to say ” courage, keep positive all the time”.😁